in another attempt to organize my blog (
which i'm sooo wanting to move to different engine, since blogger will no longer supports ftp publishing soon), i ended up reading many of my previous posts. it's funny how loose and unmindful the way i wrote back then. i could go on and on describing about what i did that day or that weekend. and it seems that i always found an exciting thing to write about everyday.
then i went on reading until my present post.. it felt so.. different! i write more careful now, more serious and mostly around the same thing.. my daughter or family! wow, have my life become so boring?
maybe. after all, i'm not the happy-go-lucky single girl living in the busiest city with all the time in the world. these days, my time is about rushing to get my work done so i can be home and be with my family. even when i'm actually doing nothing .. as long as i'm with my family.
i remember, a single friend told me a while back. she hated how her no-longer-single friends have become domesticated and only talk about family or kids. on and on and on. i promised then that i wouldn't want to be that way, ever! but i can't help myself because my family is now the center of my attention, the center of my activities. i do have other things to do, my personal goals, my personal things, but somehow it's less important and not so fancy to be discussed or even to be blogged about. maybe i'm getting matured. when i really need to think about what i need to write, because i don't want to either spill too much info or giving out something unecessary on the internet. while back then, i couldn't care less. i write what i want to and i don't have to explain myself.
it's funny how i can see how my life has changed and myself maturing from my posts in blog. i do want to go back there, write about anything. but somehow, it's not as easy as i thought. my network has become very 'small' compared to when i was still in NYC and writing my hearts out. back then, only a few of people in my circle know about my blog, and most people i interacted with on the net, are just my virtual friends.
these days, my virtual friends have become my real life friends. and my real life friends also the people i would interact with on the net. there's no borderline anymore. for example, i'm having an argument with a friend. back then i would write it here and no one would know who i'm talking about. now? if i do pour my heart out, it gives people something to talk about, virtually and in real life.
are bloggers now -
in her or his own right - a celebrity? i think so. after all, a social network sites like facebook or twitter, shows that everyone has a fan and a follower. therefore, you are a celebrity (with your own paparazzi & fans), in your own world.
anyway, as for my writing.. yes, i miss those days when i faced excitements every day, but i wouldn't trade my (boring) life now for anything in the world. i'm grateful to be where i am now.
ps: i also realized that my passion for writing has been exalted because i read less nowadays. as soon as i picked up that hobby back, i can't seem to contain my brain to start writing. hopefully, this will mean i would update more. who knows? one can only hope! :)
Labels: 2010, blogging, me, nyc, rants, thoughts
