>> WORKAHOLIC

on a late night conversation with a friend through a chat room..

him: i don't like you anymore since you started working at ********
me : why?
him: i don't see you, i don't get calls from you, you're too busy
me : yes, that's true, sorry.. i wouldn't like me either. i hate the hours, but i enjoy my job.
him: you mean, you enjoy the paycheck? ;)
me : not that.. but it's just been a busy season..


on a different occassion, a friend sent me an sms..

from: +6281385691***
hey, i'm in town! let's meet up friday night, 6pm @ PS.

from: me
hey, long time no see! should definitely.. confirm me a day b4, kay?


thursday nite.. around 10pm..

from: +6281385691***
tomorrow's still on, right? i've contacted several people, who did you get to contact?

from: me
yes. i'll come, but i may run late. i just got out of the office now, so i don't know when i can leave the office 2mrrw. i haven't talked to anyone. whoever u invited should be ok.


friday nite.. 7pm..

from: +6281385691***
r u coming?

from: me
just a 'lil bit. i haven't finished at the office yet. will try to get there asap.


friday nite.. 8pm..

from: +6281385691***
where are u?

from: me
i'll be leaving the office soon. u guys are still there right?


friday nite.. around 9pm..

i arrived (late! at an-almost-closing-time late..!!), looking terribly exhausted, yet still managed to meet & greet my old friends who kept telling me i should be getting some rest. to make matter worse, i was out of it the whole night, cuz my mind was somewhere else. in my room, in bed... sleeping.


oohhh.. hidup ini..
maaf yah, temans... :(

:: sLesTa

>> posted on 8/31/2006 02:30:00 PM | [ ]

>> TANAH AIR

a couple of days ago, i had my regular daily conversation with my dearest one. casually, i asked him when is the exact plan of he's coming back home, for a weekend visit this month. i found myself (and himself) startled by my question, especially after i mentioned the word "home." obviously, because since 4 months ago, he has moved to a different country and insisted to make the new place his new "home." though all his family members are here (and of course, myself.. hehe.. ) he was strongly refer to his new place as his new "home", where he plans to live for the next 5-10 years.

by this, i kept thinking. why do many indonesians who have moved citizenships or permanently move to other countries, still refer to indonesia as their "home"? i know that home is where you are from. though over the years, this term would change as you find that perfect place you'd be in. a lot of us found it in a different place, different countries. i have lotsa friends back in the states who have become a citizen of that country, make a living, have their extended family, but still consider indonesia as their home. i don't think, however, it happens similarly to other citizens of the world. a close friend of mine, though come from another asian country, considered new york as his home.

i find this phenomena as a good plus to our quality. no matter where we go, we regard our original country as our home under any circumstances. although i do believe that home is where your heart is, right now, this is where i belong.

then i heard an old national song in the radio ...

tanah air ku tidak kulupakan..
kan ku kenang selama hidupku..
biarpun daku pergi jauh..
tidak kan hilang dari kalbu..
tanah ku yang kucintai..

no wonder we always consider this country our home. we have been singing that most of our childhood life. and it was a well lesson-learned.


happy independence day, indonesia!

:: sLesTa

>> posted on 8/17/2006 03:24:00 PM | [ ]

>> POSITIVE THINKING

pernah gak kejadian kalo kamu benar2 menginginkan sesuatu so badly... you know you deserve it.. tapi taunya gak dapet? pernah gak kejadian kalo kamu bingung sama jalan hidup kamu yang gak kamu harapkan? biasanya kita pasti akan marah2, sebel, sedih, kesel.. semuanya campur aduk. tapi pernah gak terlintas, kalo itu adalah jalan yang diberikan untuk kamu, for the better??

i always tell myself this. a lot of things happen not to my satisfaction. not as i hope it would be. tapi gue biasanya mikir.. mungkin ini lah jalan yang dikasih ke gue, to get a better life. gue amat sangat yakin, sudah ada jalan yang baik buat gue yang diatur oleh yang di Atas.. gue hanya bisa berusaha untuk meraih itu, dan gue yakin apapun hasilnya.. there's always a silver lining from everything, if you really look for it.

i sound like a positive person ya? sebenernya engga. gue sering juga mikir yang engga2 like other normal human being.. but fortunately, i'm surrounded by lotsa positive people. they taught me how to think positively. always look for the better side of every mishaps. and so far.. it's taken me to the place that i've wanted for.. even better that i expected.

just to share a story, i had once interviewed by one of the largest company in the world while i was in new york. i so wanted the job, and i know i'm perfect for it. on my first interview, they spent 3 hours on me.. and called me up before i reach home to do the next interview held the week after. tapi ternyata setelah tau gue ga bisa disponsorin oleh mereka, they cannot continue my interview process. gue sedih banget. gue ngerasa mentok banget. tapi i tried not to be sad. i thought.. there must be a better reason for this. so i tried to motivate myself.

fast forward 5 years after that interview. i'm back home. i was interviewed with the same company, just on the different side of the business. they offered me the job, although it was just a little too late, since i already accepted another offer. i thought it was bittersweet. i didn't expect to turn down the offer, but i was not in the position to accept it. i figured.. it was just my luck..and it was just not meant to be!

fast forward another year. i'm sitting in a window-side cubicle at 15th floor building in downtown jakarta. i looked at my newly printed business card. it says my name and my title. a better title than what they had offered me a year ago. and guess what?? i finally work in the same company who turned me down 7 years ago because they can't sponsor me. with better position, better level.. and i realized, i did get what i deserve.. it just took me a long bumpy road to get there.

and an extra year that took me to be here, resulted me to meet my other half and better offer from the company i so eager to joined 7 years ago.

now... i know that there's gotta be a good reason why i'm here and he's there. i long to see the outcome. all i know the result will be positive if i act positively toward this.

life should be taken positively if you want the positive outcome out of it, right? right! :)

:: sLesTa

>> posted on 8/08/2006 05:43:00 PM | [ ]

>> WHAT U WANT 2 BE?

my co-worker, an indian girl who's been assigned to indonesia for a year, asked me to grab a cup of coffee one afternoon. it was indeed a good idea, since we both been stuck in our cubicles looking at data, numbers after numbers in our attempt to analyze them. so as soon as she raised the idea, i okayed it right away, much to her surprise on how fast i answered. :)

we stayed for about an hour at the coffee shop at the ground level of our office building. at first, it was just a light conversation we started, then we involved in a conversation of what exactly do we want to do with our lives. she mentioned that after spending 3 years working in this company, she's still not sure of what she wants to do, but she knows enough that she doesn't want to do it for the rest of her lives. as for me, eventhough i've been doing what i do for a while, i like doing it, although if someone would offer me another exciting position, i would probably take it right away. heheheh....

so, what is it do we want to do in life? why is this question is so hard to answer? if you can answer this right away, then you're lucky. but i feel that the older i get, the more i know what i don't want to do, yet i can't really figure out what i want. maybe i know what i want, it's just that at this point in life, it would be series of deep thinking before i decided to jump from one work to another. it takes a lot of courage to do that and i take my hats off for those who are able to make such decision.

looking back, i know that when i was young, i would probably answer this question without even thinking. how many of you would too? if someone ask you what you want to be when you grow up? you'd answer right away, right? usually it's to be a pilot, a doctor, an engineer, an architect, and so on and so forth. our naive little self wouldn't even know the difference really and what it takes to be one, but it was a motivation to go forward in our young life.

and all of these motivations are often being monitored or guided by our parents. with the recent issues of the poor-quality education curriculum in indonesia, those dreams might be too far away from these kids. it's just ridiculous how large percentage of students would fail to graduate. i don't blame them, really. i blame the system. kids in the city are blessed with good quality private schools that the last thing in their mind would be failing to graduate, even though they spent their time hanging out the malls. but by having the exposure of malls, the world out there through hollywood, etc., they are actually learning without they even know it. the foreign language, the globalization business through the international brands of shoes or bags they desire, and so on. while kids in the villages... how would they graduate, when the quality of the education is soo poorly given? and no exposure to the world out there ..

then even if they graduate, they have to struggle to get in to college which of course, costs unbelievably so much money. then there's the confusion of which major to choose. if kids in school haven't been exposed with the majors of education, how would they know that they are learning what they like?

i know this is an old and ongoing issue. but i can't help not to write about it after a little conversation i heard on a recent morning show in my favorite radio. a girl called in and said that she's depressed with the major she took. it's the most popular major, management, but it was her dad's decision for her to take. she, herself, wants to study theater. but being a practical parent, her dad thinks that to be in the theater, she wouldn't be able to make "enough" money to support herself once she graduates. while in management major, there would be tons of opportunity for her in the real world. cliche, really. but i can tell by her sound that she's so depressed of this.. and the fact that she hates the subject, she cannot make good grades, thus, hurting her chance of graduating.

this stumbles me. i, for one, am lucky to have been blessed by parents who are fully supportive of any decisions i made. they never dictate me which subject i should choose to study, as long as i like it and i can get good grades because i chose the subject in the first place. i didn't take an exciting subject like theater or bio-chemical or whatnot, but it's something that i know i'm good at. ironically, i desire other passions like photography, and realize that what i do at the office is merely a professional one. but it doesn't matter, cuz i'm happy and i have no one else to blame but me for taking the subject, and i have to except any consequences.

but i do believe that if someone has a strong desire over a subject, he or she may be successful in it. cuz whatever you do, if you have a passion for it, it will reflect in your work. though i do understand the point of view that the girl's dad made. when unemployment rate in this country is so high, there's no room for an unskilled worker. then it goes back to the question.. how would we create a quality skilled worker when the education is still a big blob??

you, the government, should answer that by seriously revise the current curriculum and upgrade the education system. cuz we all know, without good education, how would we compete in the global world? education should not just for the rich and able, but for everyone, as these young generations are the future of this country.

so, what do you want to be when you grow up?

:: sLesTa

>> posted on 8/02/2006 09:30:00 AM | [ ]